The remote work revolution: managing employees you’ve never met in person (is that even their real name?)

Ah, the remote work revolution. Once a quirky option for freelancers working from coffee shops, it’s now a full-blown lifestyle. We’ve gone from “I work from home on Fridays” to “I’ve been working from home so long, I’ve named my houseplant Steve and promoted him to VP of morale.” But as dreamy as “Zooming in pajamas” may sound, the reality of managing remote employees can sometimes feel like wrangling a herd of digital ghosts. Who are these people? Do they even exist? And why does Sarah from finance always sound like she’s broadcasting live from the middle of a tornado?

Managing employees you’ve never met in person is a wild ride. It’s a mix of trust, tech, and the occasional existential crisis when someone’s camera mysteriously “breaks” for the fourth meeting in a row. Let’s unpack this madness together—and maybe laugh through the chaos.

Who even are these people?

First things first: remote work means hiring people from all corners of the globe, which is fantastic. Your team might consist of a designer in Singapore, a developer in Prague, and a copywriter in Argentina. The diversity is incredible—until you realize you’re the one tasked with managing time zones that look like someone threw darts at a world map. “Let’s schedule a meeting for 9 a.m. my time—oh, wait, that’s 2 a.m. for you. Oops. What about 3 p.m.? Oh, that’s your lunch break… and you’re in a different day? Cool, cool.”

And then there’s the challenge of not knowing if people are who they say they are. Pre-remote, you could walk by someone’s desk and see their work. Now? It’s just a profile picture of a dog in sunglasses and a first name that may or may not even be theirs. Sure, you could send an email to confirm, but let’s be real: everyone’s way more responsive to memes in Slack than to actual professional correspondence.

The trust fall of remote work

Here’s the thing: managing a remote team is 80% trust, 15% tech tools, and 5% praying to the Wi-Fi gods. Unlike in the office, you can’t do the old “walk by their desk and see if they’re actually working” routine. Instead, you have to trust that when someone says, “I’ll have that report to you by the end of the day,” they’re not simultaneously binge-watching a crime drama and Googling how to format Excel spreadsheets.

The key to surviving this trust fall? Focus on outcomes, not hours. Nobody cares if your employees work in three-hour bursts between nap breaks or during a midnight creative frenzy, as long as they deliver the goods. It’s like ordering pizza: you don’t care how the delivery guy got there, as long as the box shows up on time, with no pineapple unless specifically requested. (Seriously, who puts pineapple on a spreadsheet? Wait, that analogy got away from me. You get the point.)

Meetings: the necessary evil

Can we talk about remote meetings for a second? They’re both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, you no longer have to squeeze into a freezing cold conference room with a coffee that’s 80% foam. On the other, Zoom fatigue is real, and nothing kills morale faster than another hour-long meeting that could’ve been a two-line email. (“Hi everyone, just checking in. Please confirm you’re still alive. Thanks!”)

Pro tip: keep meetings short and sweet. Set a clear agenda, and for the love of all things good, don’t make people turn their cameras on unless it’s absolutely necessary. Some of us haven’t seen a hairbrush since 2020, and it’s best if it stays that way.

Oh, and one more thing: make space for casual conversations. Watercooler chat doesn’t naturally happen in a virtual world, so you have to manufacture it. Start meetings with a silly question, like “What’s the weirdest thing on your desk right now?” or “If you were a sandwich, what sandwich would you be?” It’s amazing how quickly people will bond over mutual disdain for egg salad.

Tools: your new best friends

Managing remote employees without the right tools is like trying to climb Everest in flip-flops. It’s not going to end well. You need platforms that make collaboration seamless, like project management tools (Asana, Trello), communication hubs (Slack, Teams), and video call software (yes, even Zoom, despite its flaws).

But remember: more tools ≠ better management. Don’t throw your team into “app overload.” There’s nothing worse than needing seven different passwords just to complete one task. Pick a few core platforms and stick to them. And while you’re at it, keep an eye out for burnout—if your team spends more time learning the tools than doing their actual jobs, you’re doing it wrong.

Connection is everything

Here’s the bottom line: remote work isn’t about managing tasks—it’s about managing people. And people need connection, even if they’re working from a beach hut in Bali (jealous). Check in regularly, not just about work, but about life. Ask about their weekend, their cat, their favorite flavor of ice cream. Create a culture where it’s okay to be human. After all, happy employees are productive employees—and they’re less likely to ghost you when their next task is due.

So, is managing remote employees challenging? Absolutely. But it’s also an opportunity to rethink what work means. It’s less about clocking in at 9 a.m. sharp and more about building trust, embracing flexibility, and learning that yes, Steve the houseplant can make an excellent VP of morale. Welcome to the remote work revolution—chaos, quirks, and all.